Dear Social Media,
How I love what you have given me. A little slice of your social media world that has given me the opportunity to share my love of cooking with a Thermomix.
Had you asked me 3 years ago if I’d be a full time blogger, I would have laughed so hard and said you’re crazy and pass me the chocolate!
Oh wait, I still laugh and ask for chocolate… lol! :)
Social Media, you've connected me with some fabulous cooks, friends and families.
You've let me share the amazing joy of cooking with extraordinary people.
You've let me share in their personal joys and sadnesses too.
Ultimately you've made my life a better place.
But… I'm getting sad Social Media, I'm not finding as much joy in you anymore. :(
For a while I couldn't pin point what it was.
Then I saw it… it was smacking me right in the face!
I had been making excuses for it by thinking;
- people are entitled to their opinion
- people are entitled to freedom of speech.
But it is not that anymore.
It is some people.
Some people are not taking the time to THINK before they comment on a forum, blog post or a social media post!
Words are just SO powerful.
Sadly, there is a belief out there that bloggers are expected to have a thick skin and to be able to handle being rudely criticised.
Lately I have felt sickened by hearing of bloggers wanting to stop blogging because they have been so hurt that it is now all too much for them.
I feel very disappointed when some people don’t appreciate that we have
taken the time to share a piece of ourselves.
- When did it become "if bloggers can't take it then they should get off social media”…?
- When did it become okay to use that phrase?
- When did it become okay to belittle someone; to purposefully degrade someone's skill, ability, attempt, or even for them just sharing something?
I will tell you now that it HAS NOT become okay!!!
It HAS NOT become okay to comment on a recipe and say things like -"it looks awful", or "looks like someone spewed outside a pub".
Instead of thanking us, they've just been rude, ungrateful and be-littling.
Bloggers have taken the time to:
- give it a go,
- to share with you,
- to maybe inspire and help you and your family.
Those hurtful comments just tell us that the hours and hours that we've spent making it ready to post - is worthless!
They’ve called us, our work and our efforts worthless.
How is that helping us to help you?
If you were in my house and sitting at my table being served dinner after watching me cook it - would you really say that to me?
I suspect not.
Social media is great – don’t get me wrong – I enjoy learning, being exposed to different ideas and ways to do things.
But it is NOT a platform for anyone to just type whatever
it is in their head whilst HIDING behind their screen!
This also includes being respectful to other members that use the blog, forum or Face Book group as well.
Please show some respect and courtesy!!!
If you don’t have anything nice to say then please take
your fingers off the keyboard and scroll past!
I thoroughly enjoy what I do. It is hard work, but I enjoy the excitement of sharing a new recipe with you and hearing about your experiences with it.
What I do NOT enjoy is reading comments that are just demeaning and critical!
It takes many, many hours of work to create, test and publish a recipe. Yes, there are some recipes that just don’t photograph well!
I completely understand that but I am sure that whoever is posting has done the best that they can with the knowledge they have!
I suggest if you have a way to make the recipe better please let us know in a constructive manner.
Please remember:
Bloggers are REAL people
who create for YOU
and GENUINELY want your life to be better
and most importantly they have REAL feelings.
“If you don’t have anything nice to say,
then don’t say anything at all!”
I look forward to sharing more recipes with you in the near future… just after I have cleaned the chocolate out of my Thermomix bowl. :)
Andrea Wyckoff says
So well said!! As a food blogger I can totally relate to this post and I thank you for helping to spread the word that we are real people with real feelings too! There have been many times where I have daydreamed of deleting my food blog and simply walking away to spend more time with my chihuahuas in our garden! But then you strike recipe gold, and create something new you can't help but share!
I wish there was a fun & positive hash tag we could all unite and post together below any comment that was deliberately rude. A way to unite together, sorta call folks out, and remind them that the world can be such a better place when you ditch your negative attitude.
xx
thermofun says
Thanks Andrea and yes I totally agree! :)
janet says
Just a short note, my Mum and Dad always told me and my brothers and sister,
if you have not got anything nice to say don't say it. and that's one philosophy that I live by.
keep up the good work.
thermofun says
Thank you Janet - I totally agree with your mum and dad too! :)
Tenina says
Well said my fellow blogger!! Love your work. Love what I do too. Most ppl are lovely...but there are a very few who need a pat on the back with a baseball bat...
thermofun says
lol! Thanks Tenina and well said! :)
Jennifer Abel says
Wow so glad to read your post, and you are right. These slammers ( as I call them) have no idea the effort we go too, they do not understand how time consuming and brain straining it can be. But week in and week out we are there to give something of value to the world. I dare say these knockers would have no idea the reality of a bloggers life or they would keep their tongues in their mouths.
These people are trolls that spend their days looking for anything to nit pick, I do not entertain them.
I love your blog and I have a thermoblend on its way so I will be a regular to your site. Have a great day!
thermofun says
Thank you Jennifer and Welcome to ThermoFun! :) Yes thank you for your empathy as another blogger. I've been in the work force for 30 years and I've never worked so hard in all my life as I have the last 16 months when I first started blogging. It certainly is a 24/7 job that's for sure!... (she says on Easter Sunday!!!) lol!
I hope you are having a Happy Easter! :)
Raelene says
Sorry for the long and delayed reply but your post has stirred many things in me…but I’ll only reply to a few…
Like any other tool “Social Media” can be used to build up or to tear down. I have been extremely blessed to be part of your ThermoFunkies group which continually is a positive place of support, encouragement and shared learning. I am glad I found ThermoFun and the Cookalongs not long after entering the “Facebook world” and through it I have made soo many lovely like-minded, fun-loving, respectful and generous friends.
I too though have read and heard of so many bloggers of late being attacked and insulted and it greatly saddens and grieves me knowing that you also have had to endure such harsh treatment over the years. I have stepped away from many good blogger pages for the criticism and judgmental attitudes of the members towards each other and people not accepting other peoples’ life choices but thankfully your page remains mainly clear of this petty childishness.
But it is easy to always point the finger outward to others. I now must also reflect on my limited social media exposure and take stock of my own interactions. It is a much faster pace of communicating and thus often lends to reactions rather than responses and I too am guilty of the carelessness of not properly thinking through my thoughts and feelings before commenting / interacting. I am feeling quite remorseful at this thought as I truly desire to be an encourager but also know I have the capability to mindlessly act like the bully and belittle someone else’s efforts with a flick and flurry of my fingers on the keyboard and am deeply sorry for any hurt or offence I may have inflicted on anyone in my haste.
Thank you for this “wake up call” to be more purposeful and mindful of my interactions on social media and also just when communicating in general. YES, words are POWERFUL and deserve a much greater appreciation of their ability to impact. I was always taught we have two ears and one mouth for a reason…to listen twice as much as we speak. With ten fingers to “speak with” I think it wise to take the time to breathe more deeply and check and re-check before hitting the “send” button. A great challenge indeed and one I may need to be reminded of.
Another similar issue I would like to add to this discussion is plagiarism. While on-lookers need to be more mindful of their responses I also feel bloggers / publishers of any kind of work also need to be mindful of blatantly copying other people’s efforts instead of taking the time and dedication it takes to develop and produce their OWN work. Just because the law says they only have to change a certain percentage of work for it not to be considered to be a “breach of copyright”, that DOES NOT make it their OWN work and those who have done the hard work of testing and trialing to get to the stage of publishing should be duly credited for their efforts.
I am very pleased to say that I have not found plagiarism on your ThermoFun page/s and even ask if anyone knows the origin of a recipe if you do not know it so that it can duly credited. I wish all bloggers / posters / cloners had this same level of integrity and willingness to give credit where credit is due. Whereas an acknowledgement of your work would be respectful, uplifting and encouraging I just cannot even imagine how it must feel to have your hard work just stolen and others getting the credit for it :-(
Thank you again Leonie for sharing of yourself in writing this piece and the impact it has made for me to re-examine my own social media interactions.
Your passion and dedication to have people use and enjoy their TMs to the best of their abilities just shines through and naturally wipes a lot of negativity other pages receive. BUT to me, it is your care and compassion for those who struggle that truly sets your page apart. Your willingness to share of your own personal struggles and life experiences has set the tone for the group. People know they can come and be supported for whatever is happening in their life, either on page or in a quiet PM with a listening, caring Funkie. They know they can come and have a laugh, a cry, a joke and share ALL of life…not just the “best bits” or “successes”. The fact people are also willing to share their “flops” and “nailed it” moments are truly as precious as the “air brushed” perfection others pages strive for. They also know it doesn’t always have to be TM related to be relevant.
A truly unique and motivating group lead by a truly remarkable and inspirational woman / couple / family. Thank you!!
Oh yes, and I too look forward to receiving more of your amazing, delicious, tested recipes to make with my family…even the catfood ones…coz you’ve taught me now how to sub & tweak ‘em for human consumption! ;-) LOL
Stay safe in fb-land and the bloggersphere and keep being your fun Funktastic self ☺
thermofun says
WOW! Amazing and heartfelt words Raelene. Thank you so much. My post obviously did stir a lot of things in you and I thank you sincerely for sharing your response. :)
Leanne says
Well said ...... Don't let the knockers get you down they are a minority. A nasty small minded minority but still a minority.
thermofun says
Thank you Leanne and yes thankfully a minority!
Michelle Hemy says
You are so right - everyone should share this post on all social media outlets/pages - how about some common decency folks when writing comments and posts? So sorry that someone could make you feel that way... luckily, most people are good, kind and decent. Keep blogging and inspiring - I certainly appreciate your efforts!
thermofun says
Thank you Michelle - Yes absolutely most people are good, kind and decent. :)
Annette says
I am shocked that anyone could find anything bad to say about your recipes or your page. Thermofun was one of the first, if not the first, Facebbok pages I found when I got my Thermomix three years ago. I loved it from the start. Here I was with a machine that I thought was complicated (I know now it isn't) and you simplified it for me. I became a member of your ThermoFunkies group last year, and love all you do for it. On a personal note, I had a great tragedy in my life two years ago, and joining your group has been such a positive step for me. I really enjoy cooking again, and rarely cook anything but your recipes. My biggest problem is my overflowing fridge from all the leftovers (there's only two of us in he house) and my expanding waistline from all the chocolate recipes!!
thermofun says
Thank you Annette, and it is so lovely to read that ThermoFunkies group has been a positive step for you. :)
Bea Lawrence says
It is sad that there was a need to say that. It must have taken a great deal of thought and courage. Please be assured that the vast majority of us really appreciate the time and effort that you both put in. It lightens our day.
thermofun says
Thank you Bea, and yes it did take many, many hours yesterday afternoon and last night to write and find the right words. I must say I've felt emotionally exhausted all day today as a result.
Anne-marie says
It's a form of bullying really The sole intention is to make someone feel bad. Rotten. Hopefully this gets the message across very clearly that these bullies won't be tolerated in future. i find those posts that are simply critical offensive and will be reporting them and asking for them to be deleted.
You, and all bloggers, do an amazing job and invest a huge amount of time to make a great experience for the community in your group. If there have been errors and you've been alerted, you have always addressed it and taken it in your stride and often with a dose of humour. There's simply NEVER a reason for people to be cruel.
thermofun says
Thank you Anne-marie and yes absolutely it is a form of bullying. :(
Rosemarie Garland says
It has all been said above but I feel it is necessary to say something on your behalf. THANK YOU for your efforts to make life easier for those of us who are less adventurous with their Thermies.
thermofun says
Thank you Rosemarie - it is my absolute pleasure! :)
Caroline O'Clery says
There are some that should only have access to pen& paper, allows for reading what was written before posting. Unfortunately people click send online before proof reading - some are just plain negative as well!
thermofun says
oh SO very true Caroline!
Lisa says
I find it amazing that people ' forget ' that others have feelings once they have a keyboard in front of them. It is ok to disagree with someone, but people need to remember their manners that hopefully their parents instilled in them. If you can't be polite, then don't comment.
Leonie I have found you (and Steve) more then helpful on numerous times and always found that you boost my confidence just when I need it.
Thank you!!
thermofun says
Thank you Lisa. :) Yes and I totally agree with you that it is also just very sad that people seem to forget that others have feelings once they have a keyboard in front of them. :(
Tania says
I hope these sincere comments from your FB Group and blog followers will always outshine the ones not worth remembering.
Thank you so much Leonie for all that you do for us in the Funkies Group and your website. You have made such a profound difference to so many of your friendly followers. Your positivity, kindness and sense of fun has attracted so many like minded members. Not to mention your delectable recipes! We appreciate you very much! And I'm sure your fellow bloggers will feel a sense of camaraderie with your heartfelt words.
Looking forward to your next chocolate recipe!
thermofun says
Thank you Tania. Yes I am so grateful for my amazing, positive, awesome and supportive ThermoFun Club members! :)
Joanne T Ferguson says
What GREAT words from a remarkably inspiring lady! It is very well written and I would LOVE to share your words today!
Anyone can be a "behind the computer" nasty pastie, but always remember Leonie and all, it is a reflection of who they are, THEIR issues and anyone who takes pleasure in trying to pull someone else down for their hard work, effort, PASSION in helping others, is not worth a pinch of salt in my book.
I know first hand it is easier say than done, but you have sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many wonderful, exciting, energetic people in the group that YOU have united for a same cause, and I hope on a daily basis you and Steve are and continue to be proud of what you created.
For people who have forgotten etiquette and HOW to be courteous (especially on social media), they are not worth the time to even waste one OUNCE of one's precious day!
Yes words can hurt, but as long as one follow's one's heart and instincts, than words will continue to inspire and everything WILL be okay!
Thank you for all you do and it IS greatly appreciated by me and am sure ALL of the ThermoFunkies!
Cheers! Joanne
thermofun says
WOW! Thank you so much Joanne for your heartfelt words. Your sentence "but as long as one follow’s one’s heart and instincts, than words will continue to inspire and everything WILL be okay!" struck a big chord with me. Thank you! :)
Sheila says
So sorry to hear that you have been subjected to that sort of nastiness. Social media seems to bring out the worst in some people. I haven't commented before so I will say here and now, THANK YOU for the work you do in bringing the recipes to us. We are all beginners at some stage and need people like you to help us get the most from our rather expensive machines.
thermofun says
Thank you Sheila.
Sue Ferrari says
amen!
thermofun says
Amen! :)
Vicki says
Well Said!! Totally agree with you 100% I could Never understand people who say nasty/stupid things to people who put themselves and their families out in the public for the enjoyment of those wishing to read and watch them grow as people. Agree if you don't like what is happening don't read/watch/follow!! You are doing a great job and although I have been here a short time I am in awe of what you do!
thermofun says
Thank you Vicki. Yes sadly social media can bring out the worst in some :(
Jackie says
I hope, in fact I'm sure, that most of us really appreciate what you do. Being a Thermy 'newby', I have so many 'I didn't know you could do that!!' moments thanks to all you bloggers who take the time to get recipes out there. Long may it last!
thermofun says
Thanks Jackie - and may you long continue to learn and have many more "I didn't know you could do that" moments! :)